Life

Life is a beautiful thing. And over the past few days of contemplation over my last blog entry ailments, and having a very enlightening, much appreciated talk with my dad, I have come up with some sort of conclusion on the matter.

The questions of "why this", "why that", are irrelevant to a certain degree, because in the end if you are asking why, it will just come around full circle to why. It is a never ending question, 'why'. You Could be explaining the simple thing as a toothbrush to a kid and they could ask "Why are there such things as toothbrushes?"
"Because our teeth get dirty and need cleaning"
"Why do our teeth get dirty?"
"From lack of brushing them, and build up of all the foods we eat."
"why do we eat food?"
"to satisfy our hunger"
"Why do we get hungry?"
"it is how our bodies are designed"
"Why were our bodies designed that way?"
...
So on...
...
So fourth...

I still feel as though I am missing that connection or love if you will for God. But that is okay for the meantime. I was told by my dad, that "once you find that love for God, your questions of 'why?' will be answered."
He also told me that I may have indeed felt a sort of spirituality on that fateful Saturday night. And the reason why I may have had such a mental breakdown was due to the fact that I hadn't been to a Baha'i function in so long I saw all this love for God and spirituality present in people, that I most likely felt as though I was missing out on.

And in a sense, that is probably true to a certain degree, however, he also told me that it is all about ego or one's "self". My ego was messing with me that night. And I (people in general) need to let go of their ego's. One's ego or "self" is also responsible for bad days, it your own fault for having a bad day. So I posed the argument of the story of me falling and getting gravel in my knee, and then on my way into the house slipping in a septic tank over flow and getting covered in poo.
He said "Yeah that is a pretty bad day. So far, but you yourself can choose whether or not to have those events last with you for the rest of the day, or to forget about it and move on." Basically I can either continue to have a bad day, or make it better, my choice. Also a lot of times people set themselves up for bad days

This is another example used by my dad:
"You wake up one day, and you decide that that day you will go the movies with Lucy, and have a great time, then maybe get a bite to eat afterward, drive her home, kiss her etc.
But then what happens is you call her up, and she says she is sick."

Your whole day is ruined!! Wrong, your ego has just happened to find disappointment in a day it was expecting, but in turn got something completely different. It is okay though, you can't change the fact that she is sick, just like I couldn't change the fact I smelled like dookey and my knee hurt. I had to move on though, and make my day better. But I chose to be upset the whole day, that is just precious time on earth wasted!

So all in all, for all who was wondering now, I am not depressed, yes I was, and yes I may have bouts such as these in the future, but no worries. C'est la vie (such is life). I am just going to have to go with the flow, take things as they come one at a time, learn to put others ego's before mine, and just maybe I will find that love for God I so desire in order to quench my thirst for such knowledge in answers to all these "unimportant" 'why' questions...